Shift Your Language, Boost Your Confidence: Why Healthcare Specialists Should Say Thank You More
Sonja Cronjé
June 5, 2025
Inside The Article:
Introduction
“Sorry I’m late.”
“Sorry if this doesn’t make sense.”
“Sorry to bother you…”
How often do you catch yourself apologising when there’s nothing to apologise for?
For many doctors, especially those in their early consultant years, saying “sorry” becomes almost automatic. It’s often well-meaning, rooted in humility, respect, or a desire not to impose. But over time, these small, unnecessary apologies can chip away at your confidence and quietly reinforce the belief that you’re not quite good enough.
It’s a habit born of self-doubt. And like most habits, it can be changed.
One simple but powerful shift can start to rewire that inner script: Replace “sorry” with “thank you.”
“Thank you for waiting.”
“Thanks for bearing with me.”
“Thank you for your patience.”
It’s a small tweak that changes the tone of the interaction – reinforcing connection, self-respect and clarity, without losing kindness or professionalism.
In this post, we’ll explore how this subtle language shift can help quiet imposter thoughts, build authentic confidence, and strengthen your communication – especially in high-stakes clinical and leadership moments, where your voice matters most.
The Problem with Over-Apologising
Over-apologising isn’t just about saying “sorry” too often. It’s a deeper pattern – one where you minimise your presence, needs or contributions in the name of being polite or avoiding conflict.
In medicine, over-apologising can become a reflex – something you do without thinking, even in situations that don’t call for it.
It shows up in subtle ways:
Apologising for asking a question during a busy ward round.
Saying “sorry” when offering an opinion in a meeting.
Apologising to a patient for running late, even when the delay was out of your control.
While these habits may come from a place of care and respect, they send a quiet message – to others, and to yourself – that your time, voice or needs are somehow less valid. That you’re a disruption.
And if you’re already walking the tightrope of high expectations and steep learning curves, that message can fuel imposter thoughts. You might start to hesitate, second-guess, or stay quiet – even when you have something valuable to offer.
There’s also a cost to how you're perceived. In clinical settings where clarity and confidence matter, habitual apologies can quietly undermine your authority. You might be highly competent and capable – but if every contribution is wrapped in a “sorry,” it can make you appear less assured, less credible, and easier to overlook.
The Power of ‘Thank You’ Instead of ‘Sorry’
Language is powerful, and we need to be intentional with our words. Replacing “sorry” with “thank you” isn’t just a polite turn of phrase – it’s a subtle, science-backed shift that can help you feel more grounded, project confidence, and stay steady under pressure.
Where “sorry” can imply fault or inadequacy, “thank you” affirms the other person’s experience without diminishing your own. It reframes the interaction around collaboration and mutual respect, without losing warmth or professionalism.
Take these examples:
“Thank you for your patience” acknowledges someone’s time without suggesting you’ve failed.
“Thank you for your feedback” shows openness to learning.
“Thank you for raising that” keeps the door open for dialogue, even when you’re unsure.
This kind of language taps into a growth mindset. It shifts your focus from what’s lacking to what’s possible. And that subtle reframe matters – especially in environments where decisions are high-stakes, time is short, and learning is constant.
There’s neuroscience behind this, too. Repeated apologies can trigger the brain’s threat response, fuelling self-monitoring and defensiveness. By contrast, gratitude activates the brain’s reward systems. It promotes emotional regulation, reduces stress, and fosters a sense of psychological safety. In short, it helps you stay clear-headed and calm – even when the day is demanding.
Importantly, this isn’t about being less respectful – it’s about being gentler with yourself while staying respectful of others. Gratitude doesn’t dilute humility. It allows you to be present without minimising your worth.
Saying “thank you” reinforces that your time, presence and contribution matter. And when practised consistently, this kind of self-acknowledgement builds confidence from the inside out.
The emotional benefits? They’re real:
Less stress: Gratitude shifts focus to what’s steady and supportive.
More joy: It helps you notice small moments of meaning – even on hard days.
Greater resilience: It fosters emotional steadiness, so you can meet challenges without losing your footing.
Like any mindset shift, this one takes practice. But small language changes add up. They shape how you see yourself and how others experience you.
Five Confidence-Building Shifts
Swapping “sorry” for “thank you” might seem like a small adjustment, but it can have a surprisingly big impact.
These five shifts support confidence from the inside out, one interaction at a time.
1. It affirms your self-worth
“Thank you” acknowledges that your time, voice, and presence have value. It reinforces your contribution, without making yourself smaller.
💬 Instead of: “Sorry if I’m not being clear,”
✅ Try: “Thank you for bearing with me while I explain this.”
It signals you’re actively engaging, not apologising for taking up space.
2. It highlights your strengths
Imposter thoughts often zoom in on perceived flaws. Gratitude redirects your attention to what’s working – your strengths, efforts, and intentions.
💬 If you’re running behind in clinic:
Instead of: “I’m so sorry you’ve had to wait,”
✅ Try: “Thank you for your patience – I really appreciate it.”
This shift moves the tone from inadequacy to professionalism and respect.
3. It supports a growth mindset
Gratitude reinforces openness and adaptability – hallmarks of a growth mindset. It helps you stay curious and constructive, even when things don’t go to plan.
💬 In response to feedback or correction:
Instead of: “Sorry, I messed that up,”
✅ Try: “Thank you for pointing that out – I’ll follow up.”
It reframes the moment as one of learning, not failure.
4. It strengthens your professional presence
Unnecessary apologies can chip away at your credibility. Gratitude, on the other hand, communicates steadiness and confidence – even when you don’t have all the answers.
💬 In a team meeting or discussion:
Instead of: “Sorry, I’m not sure about that,”
✅ Try: “Thanks for raising that – I’ll look into it and get back to you.”
This conveys that you’re thoughtful and dependable.
5. It encourages a kinder inner voice
Often, the way we speak to others mirrors how we speak to ourselves. Swapping self-blame for self-recognition helps quiet the inner critic and build self-trust.
💬 After a demanding shift:
Instead of: “I’m sorry I didn’t get more done,”
✅ Try: “Thank you for showing up today, even when it was hard.”
That small act of self-compassion can begin to shift your inner dialogue – from critical to caring.
Over time, these everyday shifts do more than build individual confidence – they shape culture. Language is contagious. When you model calm, respectful communication and lead with gratitude, it gives others permission to do the same.
The ripple effect is real: it fosters trust, connection, and a shared sense of purpose. And gradually, it helps create a healthcare culture that values recognition over perfection, and trust over performance anxiety.
Conclusion: A Simple Shift, A Powerful Impact
Here’s a quiet challenge for the week ahead: swap “sorry” for “thank you” whenever you catch yourself about to apologise unnecessarily.
This isn’t about eliminating politeness; it’s about adding sincerity and self-assurance to your communication.
Start with small changes:
“Thank you for your patience.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
“Thank you for bearing with me.”
Notice how this subtle shift impacts both your confidence and the dynamics around you. Each “thank you” reinforces your professionalism and acknowledges others, creating a more positive environment for both patients and colleagues.
It’s not about perfection or policing your language. It’s about practising a conscious shift that steadies your inner voice and strengthens the leader you're becoming.
You don’t have to wait until you feel more confident to speak with confidence. You can start with your next sentence.